I Guess Anna Nicole Smith Finally Discovered Crack, I Mean, Trim-Spa
I know, I know… I update so much you can hardly keep up. Had I posted thrice more over the past two months, the site could have boasted bi-monthly updates. Bi-monthly updates on a blog, a concept so impressive it’s sick. I really don’t know what to say… my bad… mea culpa… sorry shawty. The bottom-line is that I’m sorry for not posting, at all. You know, it’s not everyday your entire Girl Scout troop wins a three-month, all expenses paid trip to New Guinea as a reward for selling over 247,000 boxes of scrumptious, artery-clogging tarts that most dub “cookies.” Troop #33 had no choice but to vacation in the shite-stain of a country (province?). It was simply the opportunity of a lifetime. I can only think of one other place I’d rather go than New Guinea, and that’s Bosnia. Come to think of it, I heard that the corpse pyramids aren’t quite what they used to be, so I’m kinda glad we got stuck with New Guinea.
It was a fantastic trip, but the flight over was somewhat rough. The flight wasn’t bumpy or anything, but I just didn’t feel comfortable in a 16-passenger Cessna with an Aaliyah disc on repeat. Our Bohemian pilot couldn’t stop laughing. I’m glad he got a kick out of it…ass… I’m sure he’ll consider it funny that we put Kool-Aid in his gas tank and tampered with his landing gear.
Anyway, I’m now owned, in a manner of speaking, by Corporate America. I haven’t posted much, but that will change, when I get fired. Nah, I’ll post more. It is my solemn promise. Seriously though, enjoy it—I’m back bitch!
Quick Thought: The success of this William Hung fellow—Personally, I’m just tickled that one of Flutie’s Kids made it big… and he’s Asian. The man’s tale has Made-for-TV Movie written all over it. I can see it now, William Hung, A touching story of autism and a man’s drive to entertain. Playing the role of William Hung will be the lively Brandon Lee, ew wait… I bet that one went over with a BANG. Okay, so Jet Li will play William Hung and Jackie Chan will do the voice-overs. Screw the TV plans, I can take this project to the silver screen, esp. with heavy hitters like Chan and Li.
If anyone hears from Flashdance let me know… I fear he’s been captured yet again by Aborigine pariahs. And if you didn’t get any of the humor in this post, I suggest you do a duet with a fellow tard in William Hung. I’m out like a gerbil in a San Francisco pet shop.
Chortle?
-Carpe Comedy
I know, I know… I update so much you can hardly keep up. Had I posted thrice more over the past two months, the site could have boasted bi-monthly updates. Bi-monthly updates on a blog, a concept so impressive it’s sick. I really don’t know what to say… my bad… mea culpa… sorry shawty. The bottom-line is that I’m sorry for not posting, at all. You know, it’s not everyday your entire Girl Scout troop wins a three-month, all expenses paid trip to New Guinea as a reward for selling over 247,000 boxes of scrumptious, artery-clogging tarts that most dub “cookies.” Troop #33 had no choice but to vacation in the shite-stain of a country (province?). It was simply the opportunity of a lifetime. I can only think of one other place I’d rather go than New Guinea, and that’s Bosnia. Come to think of it, I heard that the corpse pyramids aren’t quite what they used to be, so I’m kinda glad we got stuck with New Guinea.
It was a fantastic trip, but the flight over was somewhat rough. The flight wasn’t bumpy or anything, but I just didn’t feel comfortable in a 16-passenger Cessna with an Aaliyah disc on repeat. Our Bohemian pilot couldn’t stop laughing. I’m glad he got a kick out of it…ass… I’m sure he’ll consider it funny that we put Kool-Aid in his gas tank and tampered with his landing gear.
Anyway, I’m now owned, in a manner of speaking, by Corporate America. I haven’t posted much, but that will change, when I get fired. Nah, I’ll post more. It is my solemn promise. Seriously though, enjoy it—I’m back bitch!
Quick Thought: The success of this William Hung fellow—Personally, I’m just tickled that one of Flutie’s Kids made it big… and he’s Asian. The man’s tale has Made-for-TV Movie written all over it. I can see it now, William Hung, A touching story of autism and a man’s drive to entertain. Playing the role of William Hung will be the lively Brandon Lee, ew wait… I bet that one went over with a BANG. Okay, so Jet Li will play William Hung and Jackie Chan will do the voice-overs. Screw the TV plans, I can take this project to the silver screen, esp. with heavy hitters like Chan and Li.
If anyone hears from Flashdance let me know… I fear he’s been captured yet again by Aborigine pariahs. And if you didn’t get any of the humor in this post, I suggest you do a duet with a fellow tard in William Hung. I’m out like a gerbil in a San Francisco pet shop.
Chortle?
-Carpe Comedy
posted by Thibodeaux at 1:26 AM
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