I too am rather disappointed in myself. I haven’t posted as much as I’d like to. I’m not one to make excuses, but I’m tellin’ ya, this Danielle Steele novel that I’ve been reading for my book club, Chai Tea and Book Chat, is simply superb. The magnum opus is called Dating Game. I had a premonition that it would be a good read because it had a hot pink cover. I started it a week ago and have not put it down once. I even read while I was at the yacht club doing Pilates with the girls. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I’m a slow reader. Any normal creature with the ability to reason would be done by now. But not I… I can’t wait to get through the preface!

Truthfully, I haven’t found the time to post between practicing my didgeridoo and tending to my sick sea monkeys. The whole litter was infected with SARS last week when I mixed my store bought American sea monkeys with the ones I got from a Mongolian on EBay. So if I’ve seemed a little down lately, that’s why. I hate to see my pets sick. I can’t stand it. You wouldn’t think that sea monkeys writhe in pain when they’re ailing, but oh they do. Watching an ill sea monkey try to swim is similar to watching a limbless ballerina try to pirouette. It’s just sad. It seems as though the algae, I mean monkeys, have no desire to live. Right now they’re about as lively as a morbidly obese male in front of the television. Sorry… Did I say “a morbidly obese male in front of the television?” I meant that my sea monkeys are about as lively as a couple of morbidly obese whales ON the television.

I can hear you all now, “C’mon Chris, you roguish joker! Tell us where you’ve really been!” Our readers do deserve truth, so, here it goes. I was playing hide-and-seek with my roommates, some female celebrities, and a few society types, when I hid in my closet with Roselyn Sanchez. After five minutes of hiding, we decided that it would be more fun to play “Seven Minutes in Heaven.” Seven minutes turned into three days of passionate carryings-on, and you know how the rest goes… Jermaine, Jimmy Flash, and Elena Myasnikova, one of the co-writers of the Russian edition of Cosmo, couldn’t locate Roselyn and I in our primo hiding spot, so they alerted the proper authorities. A rescue team eventually found us tangled; nay trapped, in tantric bliss, and freed us with a smidge of caster oil and a pair of scissors. Don’t ask… And that, loyal readers, is where I have been. I guess I’m off like myself after a tow truck… Did I really run like Billy Bob Thornton from a Black Panther rally? … Disturbing.

It’s 3:12 am… I’m sitting in front of my computer, eating a bowl of Steak ‘n Shake chili, and I gotta say, I can’t think of any good reason why I shouldn’t be naked right now… and I’m naked, wonderful. To hell with mental pictures, here’s the real thing, or at least from the waist up. I won’t show the whole picture, because I don’t have a license for my pet anaconda. Word has it that the authorities arrest people for exotic pets. All right, so I have a robe on, I lied. I feel liberated and inspired nonetheless.

Well, basically, I wanted to birth a funny brainchild in the form of yet another blog, where my friends, most of whom are pretty funny, could post. We mostly make fun of fat people, because c’mon, fat people are funny. So are midgets… and the elderly. Truthfully, the subject matter will vary much more than that, I promise. Anyway, the regulars will be posting shortly. We have a decent-sized lineup so there should always be something new. In addition, IF YOU ARE FUNNY & WOULD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE A POST, email yours truly at chrsthibodeaux@aol.com with your post, and I will put it up, unless you suffer from illusions of humorousness and send in comedic garbage. If you send in something substandard, I will make fun of you… not really… Okay, really, but don’t let my warnings stop you from sending stuff in. With that written, let the postings begin. Please send in your funny ramblings, stories, letters, etc. We will post them.

We want you to read this site and laugh your ass off, because that’s what life is about, laughing and having a good time. Well, what we’re trying to say is that laughing makes life easier and more enjoyable. Ya dig? So “Carpe Comedy!” Seize the comedy! Get your jollies with us… That sounds awful.