Breakfast Ride
I’m seated in Personality Theory right now. That is all… I’m out. Nah, jus’ playin’ G’s. Today, the “guy that speaks at the front of the room,” also known as the “professor,” is covering Bandura’s “Reciprocal Determinism” and the roles of attention. He mentioned how paying attention is crucial in modeling behavior. He also said some other shiznit, but I didn’t catch it because I wasn’t paying attention. Guess I don’t want to be a teacher.
… moving right along
Today will be the first day I’ve been completely sober in a span of three days. It feels sorta good… Dammit! I’m lying! I need a beer! Not really. Since I’m on the subject of happiness I mean booze, I might as well proceed, right? It’s funny how my attitudes toward drinking change after a night of binging. I swore off alcohol at approximately 12:30 Saturday afternoon because it felt like the phantom fat kid had paid me a visit and jumped on the trampoline that was my stomach. My abdomen was, as an illiterate rapper would say, “Tore da’ Hell up!” But it felt better when I started drinking two hours later at the Keanu-dubbed “righteous time” of 2:30. This second day of “keggery” and mixed drinks divine lasted a good 10 hours. I’m pretty sure that Saturday was a good day. Memory serves me not. I only remember waking up this morning, at least 30 hours later, to the sound of a bedpan crashing into my face. I didn’t know they gave those out in jails. That’s right, I said jails. Yeah, so I guess it’s illegal to raid an emu farm at 3:30 in the morning with your friends. Supposedly it’s also illegal to mount one of these emus and play chicken against your friend who’s seated on an opposing emu… Come to think of it, the law may not actually forbid such interaction with emus. It may have been the fact that I was riding bareback that got us into trouble… my apologies
… I’m off to catch some midmorning episodes of CHiPs. So long… and remember, seize the comedy… and seize the emu’s wings if you so choose to saddle up. It’s easy to fall off. And don’t ride naked.
I’m seated in Personality Theory right now. That is all… I’m out. Nah, jus’ playin’ G’s. Today, the “guy that speaks at the front of the room,” also known as the “professor,” is covering Bandura’s “Reciprocal Determinism” and the roles of attention. He mentioned how paying attention is crucial in modeling behavior. He also said some other shiznit, but I didn’t catch it because I wasn’t paying attention. Guess I don’t want to be a teacher.
… moving right along
Today will be the first day I’ve been completely sober in a span of three days. It feels sorta good… Dammit! I’m lying! I need a beer! Not really. Since I’m on the subject of happiness I mean booze, I might as well proceed, right? It’s funny how my attitudes toward drinking change after a night of binging. I swore off alcohol at approximately 12:30 Saturday afternoon because it felt like the phantom fat kid had paid me a visit and jumped on the trampoline that was my stomach. My abdomen was, as an illiterate rapper would say, “Tore da’ Hell up!” But it felt better when I started drinking two hours later at the Keanu-dubbed “righteous time” of 2:30. This second day of “keggery” and mixed drinks divine lasted a good 10 hours. I’m pretty sure that Saturday was a good day. Memory serves me not. I only remember waking up this morning, at least 30 hours later, to the sound of a bedpan crashing into my face. I didn’t know they gave those out in jails. That’s right, I said jails. Yeah, so I guess it’s illegal to raid an emu farm at 3:30 in the morning with your friends. Supposedly it’s also illegal to mount one of these emus and play chicken against your friend who’s seated on an opposing emu… Come to think of it, the law may not actually forbid such interaction with emus. It may have been the fact that I was riding bareback that got us into trouble… my apologies
… I’m off to catch some midmorning episodes of CHiPs. So long… and remember, seize the comedy… and seize the emu’s wings if you so choose to saddle up. It’s easy to fall off. And don’t ride naked.
posted by Thibodeaux at 10:18 AM
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