Ever since Mr. Thibodeaux invited me to this blog, I have been furiously searching for something to post about, much like how a voracious fat girl searches for a cheeseburger. Of course, the second I gave up for the evening and settled down in front of the tube, I found my inspiration in the form of NFL Kickoff Live.

You see, this is the hour long show that gets people primed up for another hard-hitting NFL season by having Britney Spears lip sync “Slave” while a bunch of flamboyant male dancers do a CumFiesta-esque circle jerk around her. Then she humps one of her female backup dancers like a rabid dog in heat while lip syncing “Oops I Did It Again”. And I could almost swear that Britney sat on some guy's face at the very end of her set. I’ll keep you posted on that…

And, of course, there was the staple Aerosmith appearance. Oh that reminds me, I have now figured out the chronological progression of musical fame. You start out as a garage band. Then you get an indie label to sign you to a deal. Then you get on with a big label and begin touring the country and playing the biggest arenas and stadiums. Then, as your career starts its decline, you begin making adult contemporary music, i.e. Sting. Then old people start liking you. And finally, you end up playing on the NFL Kickoff Live pregame show. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of Aerosmith, but it’s sad that the only time you see them anymore is on NFL broadcasts with Britney Spears. Next thing you know they’ll be performing in retirement homes across America in the “Geritol & Arthritis Tour”. Or maybe starring in a Centrum Silver commercial. Either way, it almost brings me to tears. I’m gonna go lament on what I’ve done. Catch ya later.